


Up in the Air

by kayurafii



Series: All Dressed up and Nowhere to Go [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, More Hurt Than Comfort, alcohol comsumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-05-01 00:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5185961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayurafii/pseuds/kayurafii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy isn't the best at dealing with other people's emotions.  But she'll try for Eggsy, who's just sitting there, looking like his world has ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up in the Air

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dedkake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dedkake/gifts).



> A very, super-duper late birthday present for my friend dedkake.

She can tell he’s not alright.  It doesn’t take degrees or advanced training to see that.  The same way she could see that Merlin wasn’t handling the situation well.  But Merlin was in the cockpit and outside of her influence.  And Eggsy is sitting right there, legs and arms hanging listlessly, his head back and eyes unfocused.

Roxy stands at the bar, eyeing the decanters and weighing the odds.  One more glance at his blank face and she springs into action.  She pours three, leaves one behind, and takes the others over to stand across from Eggsy.

“Drink.” She places the tumbler into his gaze and watches as he focuses, even if he looks confused.  She clears her throat when he just sits there, “Awfully rude to leave a lady hanging.”

It doesn’t earn her a smile, but he takes the tumbler.  His arm falls back to the arm rest, brandy sloshing dangerously, the glass _thunking_ against the wood.

“Eggsy…” a false start, she knows, but the silence is getting to her.  Thinking on it, she doesn’t remember ever being particularly patient.  He focuses on her, his eyes wet but not yet threatening to spill over.   _Start with something factual to try to snap him out of it, be self aware._  “You’re in shock,” she places a hand on his chilled cheek, and then she loses faith in her diagnosis, “I think.”

His mouth forms a scoff, but the breath doesn’t quite make it out.  He sighs instead, tipping the tumbler and watching the alcohol swirl.

She sits, leaning forward, her own drink camped in a white-knuckled grip.  “Aren’t I supposed to be the one white-knuckling it?” Humor could work as well as anything else, “I don’t even know where the parachutes are!”  She stops when he makes eye contact again.  He looks angry, far angrier than she’s ever seen him.  And she realizes, again, that she’s shite at this.  She wasn’t made to comfort.

He lets the crystal tumble to the floor of the plane, the rumbler remains intact but the carpet will be sticky for many missions to come.  His hands raise from the arm rests and he leans forward.  But he loses momentum, elbows digging into his thighs while his hands grasp at the air before his face.

“Eggsy?”  She school’s her voice calm, her face placid, and she waits for his breathing to slow.

It’s a long wait.

“He di’n’t ‘ave to go alone.  Why’d I let ‘im go alone?” He sobs through the end of his odd declaration, voice thick, face coming to rest in his hands.

“He-?”

“Harry.” Merlin’s voice startles both of them, but only Roxy looks.  His voice is rough, though his face is calm, and he rolls his tumbler from hand to hand sipping every other pass.

Roxy looks back to Eggsy, rubs her fingers through his hair and scratching against his scalp.  “I didn’t realize... I mean, I saw you were close with him.”

Eggsy doesn’t wail, it isn’t that loud, but his sob hitches wetly in his throat so he has to cough and sniffle or else choke.  She moves to kneel at his side, one hand brushing up and down his cheek (which he doesn’t lean into), while she takes a deep drink with the other.

Merlin, shoes squishing through the soiled runner, places his hand on the back of Eggsy’s neck with gripping fingers (which he does lean into).

She drops her hand, waffling on how to help and ends up with her hands in her lap and her head leaning against his knee.

“He knew the risks, Eggsy, he knew because he lived them.  He’s seen other agents, and almost agents perish in far worse ways than his own.”  Merlin left off squeezing his neck to ruffle his fingers through the short hair on the back of Eggsy’s head.  “We all know.  The fact that we’re alive is nothing short of a miracle.  Impossible odds don’t always go in our favor.”

Eggsy’s not sobbing anymore, but Roxy can still see the tears run down his cheeks.  His eyes are open, only blinking infrequently, and red.

“ ‘e still di’n’t haf to go _alone_.”

“Yes he did.” Merlin says, voice strong and sure.  “One agent can do what two cannot.  And two agents can be used against each other.  What do you think he wouldn’t have done to keep _you_ safe, had you been there?”

Eggsy says nothing, and Roxy’s heart breaks a little.  A piece of the pride she felt when she was chosen crumbles away with a full view of what is expected of her.  It is one thing to know, and entirely different to _see_.

“Merlin,” Roxy has to clear her throat before she can go on, “how long until we land?”

He doesn’t look at her, all his attention on petting Eggsy, “A couple of hours, at least.”

Roxy sighs, Eggsy’s eyes are dry now though the distance is still there.  He looks like he’s vibrating in his skin; hands clenched against his forehead, knees locked.  She rubs her temple against his knee.  “Some lessons cannot be taught.”

Merlin hums in somber agreement.

Eggsy sits there.

All of them waiting for what’s to come.  And she realizes how short-lived his grief will be if they don’t succeed.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry it's so short, dedkake! Happy (super late) birthday!  
> Not necessarily related to the other story in the series, but if i write more for this fandom I'll def have them all tie together here. As for the mo, they're just the only two Kingsman fics I have so I figured "why not?". The first is Harry/Eggsy, so could contribute to why Eggsy is so broken up.


End file.
